Fall From Grace

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again a million times over: Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. The media has been in an uproar over what will surely become known as the “Client #9 Scandal.” Actually, if it becomes known as that, I want the copyright or trademark. Anyways, if you do not know what “client #9” means, I am referring to (former) New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s fall from political and moral grace. Spitzer apparently spent large sums of his own money in procuring call girls from an elaborate prostitution ring that crossed national boundaries. By some estimates, it appears as if he spent $80,000 for 8 “sessions.” The “client #9” moniker is from the criminal affidavit where evidently Spitzer is identified as this mysterious client.

Spitzer has yet to be charged or even indicted on any charges, but charges could be forthcoming after a grand jury is convened to hear the logistics of the case. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “sex scandal” is the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair that occurred a decade ago. But the difference this time is that Spitzer’s actions were indeed illegal, Clinton’s were not. Prostitution is illegal in New York and Washington D.C. (where at least one of these encounters took place).He may also face charges under the Mann Act, which prohibits the transport of prostitutes between state borders. Plus, he very well may be brought up on charges of “structuring,” or attempting to disguise enormous sums of money from federal regulators by making a series of money transfers in small amounts (i.e. if you move over $10K in money from your bank account, the federal government knows about it). Based on those facts, the legislature of New York threatened to impeach Spitzer, which is why he resigned.

This is obviously not the first time that a powerful-rich (his wife is going to take him for half of it, trust me, I know women) man has had an issue with sleeping around, but the media is having a “hay-day” with this because Spitzer was a politician known for his "above average ethics." Before he became governor last year, he was New York’s attorney general for the previous 8 years. During his time as attorney general, he cracked down on “big money” in the realm of Wall Street (he didn’t make too many friends on Wall Street, as demonstrated by the fact that basically everything came to a halt for a few minutes in lieu of various celebrations when the news was leaked). What is the lesson learned from all of this?

There are a few lessons, actually. The first of which is that no matter who you are, you are not above the law. Coming from a state where many past (and current) governors have run into legal issues, I am firmly aware of the fact that no one really cares who you are, especially the federal government. Second, Americans do not like hypocrites. If you really want to irritate your constituency, do something the complete and udder opposite of what you are known for, i.e. abiding by the law. Now, if he was the governor of say, Alaska, no one would care, but in fact he was the governor of New York- the figurative center of the country. Plus, it’s the nation’s biggest media market, i.e. don’t get caught or the whole world is going to know. I am not going to elaborate on the morality of Spitzer’s actions (it would get “R rated” at this point), as that is up to the individual to decide.